Archer Sentence Starters
- “Wow. Open purse, remove balls, huh?”
- “Sploosh!”
- “Do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants.”
- “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of /I’m punching you./”
- “A /ruse/, you big dumb idiot!”
- “RAMPAGE!”
- “Are we rampaging? I thought we were rampaging.”
- “How is this suddenly my fault?”
- “Phrasing!”
- “Dude, you alive?”
- “Give me that gun.”
- “No, you’re agitated.”
- “If it helps, I puked most of it up.”
- “Well, don’t just sit there sweating like a gigantic cheese! Do something!”
- “Man up! Talk to your mother, and then you can go be a bartender and destroy a new marriage every week.”
- “Why are you wearing silk socks?”
- “Is that a real question?”
- “Oh, are they? Or are 5 in a black, and 5 in a slightly darker black?”
- “The tactical turtleneck. The…/tactleneck./”
- “Danger zone!”
- “I don’t know what that means, (name). I didn’t grow up on a cheese farm.”
- “Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t invent /English./”
- “How hot am I? Let me answer that: as balls.”
- “WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY MOTHER’S ROBE?”
- “So this one starts freaking out and, long story short…I kinda had to drown her in the tub.”
- “That’s just classic her.”
- “Oh my God! What shade is that, Crackwhore Red?”
- “So, the last thing you hear me say is ‘oh my god, they’re shooting at us!’ and you don’t even call me back?”
- “I swear to God, I had something for this.”
- “Just the tip?”
- “Idiots doing idiot things, because they’re idiots.”
- “I’m scared that if I stop all at once, the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.”
- “Hey, you wanna smell something?”
- “Can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?”
- “Well /fuck/ your dolphin, (name)!”
- “Sorry, I was picturing Whore Island.”
- “Can’t or won’t?”
- “No, I’ve seen the end of that movie. And, spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire!”
- “Who are you, Comrade Question?”
- “I /am/ drunk, or I wouldn’t be talking to you.”
- “Now let’s go bury this dead hooker.”
- “Are you kidding? Dude. Bros before apparent threats to national security.”
- “For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.”
- “Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?“